Usually, when I go out to dinner, I like to be with someone whose company I enjoy and sometimes, my social media ends up being my dinner date. I’m sure this has happened to most people when they are out to dinner and their friends or family is constantly checking their social media throughout the evening which makes me more inclined to check mine. What could I possibly be missing out on Instagram that makes it so important for them to check rather than listening to my awesome story?

Read My Face, Not Your Phone

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes social media brings up good conversation starters like, “Did you see what Kylie Jenner did for Stormi’s birthday?” or “Oh my gosh, I’m seeing wearing these new jeans where can I get them?!” -but that does not help you get to know or understand the person. Social media makes it so difficult to have genuine social interaction. Most people get a glimpse of your life on social media whether it be a post on Facebook or a picture on Instagram and they think your life is great. People are less genuine and are less likely to reach out and have a face to face conversations. According to the Pew Research Center, “a majority of teens (57%) say they spend about the right amount of time with their friends face-to-face. But roughly one-third of teens (36%) think they have too little face-to-face time with their friends.”

I Know You as a Profile, Not a Person

During the dinner date with social media, I find I am getting to know some people so well! (Besides the person across from me, of course). Brittany is getting married, Bob just had his first child, Mackenzie just got a new promotion! Good for them… Have you ever noticed how we only see the big accomplishments on Instagram and Facebook? People start to become insecure about what they see. At the age of 21 am I supposed to be getting a big girl job and getting engaged as I graduate or am I supposed to be eating Annie’s mac and cheese because that’s all I can motivate myself to cook? As Shankar Vedantam said, “Studies show that people who spend more time on social media sites feel more socially isolated than those who don’t. This might be because of a disconnect between our online lives and our real ones.” Brittany may only be able to cook mac and cheese too but she’s not going to post that, she’s going to post her perfect picture-worthy moments just as everyone else does. We commonly find that we only know people for these specific moments in their life that they chose to share, rather than everything that naturally goes on. This puts a lot of pressure on social media users to be just as perfect as those posting as well.

Recently, we are seeing celebrities coming out with their sides of not being so perfect. It is nice to see celebrities sharing their struggles and not so perfect lives to let us “normal” people understand that things happen, and it is a part of life and it is normal to share in order to get to know people better. An example would be Kim Kardashian, sharing her issues with pregnancy and having to use a surrogate. Kim is an A-List celebrity that is known for giving people insight into her experiences through her social media and through her show. It is such a positive experience to see someone else going through something that others could very as embarrassing or hard to talk about as Rachel Leonard from NPR said it was hard for her to talk about her difficult pregnancy.

View Their *Real* Story

As we put down our phones at the table and try to get to know people, it’s important to realize why you enjoy their company and learn something new that you wouldn’t get from a tweet or a Facebook post. I challenge you for the next time you are out to eat, to both (or all) put down your phones and the first person to pick theirs up, pays! A great game to persuade you all to stay engaged in a real conversation and have a great conversation!